Vodka Christmas Cake
Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!)
1 cup sugar,
1 tablespoon baking powder,
1 cup water,
1 tablespoon salt ,
1 cup brown sugar,
4 large eggs,
2 cups dried fruit.
Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK.
Try another cup just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the fruit up off the floor,
Wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver
Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
Check the Vodka.
Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.